"It just seems like you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know if it's even you?"

"People always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing. Like a toaster, or something. Like you can know what it is, even. But every so often, I'll have, like, a moment, when just being myself in my life, right where I am, is, like, enough."

I feel like Angela Chase today. If you don't know who that is, I recommend rushing out to purchase My So Called Life on DVD as soon as possible. Angela Chase sums up my high school career (although I did tend to be a bit more like Rayanne) in a way that no other pop culture event has.

I'm WAY in my head recently. I'm stuck there, cocooned in thoughts and emotions and introverted ideas, thinking thinking thinking instead of living in the moment like the good Buddhist in me insists I should.

I'm not entirely sure where it's come from, either. Mainly a sense of feeling lost, presently, stuck in a cycle I can clearly see but am unable to crawl free from. I'm this unique person with all these thoughts, both healthy and unhealthy, but I'm constantly being pigeonholed into this personality that doesn't really fit or feel comfortable on me.

Right now, I don't even know what I want. I don't know how much of my desperation steams from this need to fit in or be who everyone seems to think I am, and how much of it is my genuine self.

It kind of sucks, to be crass for a moment.

I'm hoping my murky picture becomes clearer soon...