It's nearly 5 AM and I'm too tired to title.

It's officially 4:30 in the morning. I'm sandwiched not between two rock hard men looking to fulfill my every desire, nor between two beautiful women both begging for my attention.

No.

I'm sandwiched between two dogs, both whining at equally obnoxious frequencies. One is too painful to even lie down, choosing instead to sit up at an awkward angle while looking at me with her big brown Labrador Retriever eyes. She's had pain medication but apparently she'd rather stare at me and keen. Darling Lucy, on my left, was hit by a truck going at a rather quick rate of speed. She has a chest tube that we placed because otherwise the pneumothorax she's raging would suffocate her. Yeah, I'd say she has a good reason to bitch.

Still, that leaves me rather sleep deprived and a bit delusional this evening/morning. I want some warm tea, a good book, a warm body to lie against and a soft bed. Instead I get this laptop, a concrete floor and a pillow I'm sure multitudes of my coworkers have drooled on. Life is good.

In other news, I was thinking about taking ice skating lessons. Puckett was all into it until I mentioned the open skate with the hockey players. Apparently, yours truly isn't to be trusted around a bunch of men who check people into the boards for a living. Which is a shame, really, because it was one of the best selling points about those lessons. *laugh*

Oh well, I still have the games and kid's free skate afterward on Sundays to look forward to. I knew there was a reason I encouraged my daughter to ice skate. Actually, though, she wants to be an ice hockey player. I support that whole heartedly - she does have my genetic predisposition to violence. Maybe she'll use it for good where I failed to.

To close, and continue up this tradition of delusional and nonsensical side trackage that I'm spewing forth, I was reading one of my favorite blogs (written by one of my favorite writers online) who mentioned this concept of beautiful hesitation. It caught in my throat for a moment - this idea of something meaningful and worthwhile enough to give pause to the daily grind - and it occurred to me that this lofty goal is something I take for granted on a daily basis.

Where some people are cold and unable to take pleasure in the little things, that's my whole life. I pay attention to things other people miss - hence the title of this blog (and the concept of finding irrational and nontraditional things beautiful) - and take joy in tiny details of day to day living. I actually find it to be one of my downfalls. I've crafted this cold exterior, the girl (woman) that nothing really gets to, created to hide the fact that I'm emotional and warm (blech). My life IS that beautiful hesitation.

I guess I'm luckier than I could have imagined.

Now let's just work on fulfilled.